banana child tales

Tomorrow’s going to be my last day at work. I might drop by the office from time to time after quitting, as there is still some unfinished stuff to do, but I won’t be there all day long anymore.

I’ve got less than a month until I fly back to Switzerland, it’s crazy how fast these 6 months have gone by.

I feel old typing this.

Because I

1) will leave the company soon,

2) have been treated by them for lunch several times and

3) got a bottle of original Maotai liquor from one of them,

I took two of my co-workers (the tall one and the one who grew up on the countryside) out for dinner yesterday evening. We drove to this place I’ve been several times before, serving 客家菜，客家 being another name for Hakka - which is according to Wikipedia one of the ‘major Chinese language subdivisions or varieties’. Chinese is fucking fascinating, u guys. Languages are fucking fascinating for that matter, just read the article for Singapore.

This is a new point on the What-qualifies-a-guy-as-a-keeper-bonus-list; reading the Wikipedia article on Singapore and subsequently browsing articles on languages spoken in Singapore for at least 1.5 hours.

Back to the restaurant.

My uncle is friends with the owner and does business with him, which is how I got to know him. The owner is from Heyuan, this place with the hot springs I went to with the last company I worked for. He is a super-nice guy, polite and generous towards everyone.

Sometimes even a bit socially awkward? I think he’s a bit lonely, since he’s divorced his wife and given her all the houses they owned he’s been living in a hotel room not far from the afore mentioned restaurant, on his own. He’s very vocal about looking for a girlfriend and sometimes behaves what some might deem a bit inappropriate, inviting my aunt, my cousin and me to a KTV or to have lunch with his kids for example, but at the end of the day he is hospitable and nice to the people around him, without expecting anything in return! He’s asked me a lot about how it is living abroad, tells everyone who meets me for the first time that I can speak five languages (which is not true!) and once referred to me as his kin.

Maybe I should be creeped out, I’m not sure. Fact is, I’m not and I think he’s a cool guy.

When he saw the three of us dropped by to have something to eat, he helped me order and eventually told me it was on the house. I am currently debating whether I should buy him 20 or 30 boxes of chocolate as a thank-you-for-being-so-nice-to-me-gift.

The food was good! I didn’t take any pictures, but looked for some on baidu.com

I love love love this to the moon and back. It’s tofu, enclosing a bit of meat in the middle. The meat I usually skip here in China, but the tofu itself is amazing! I will eat anything made out of those heavenly yellow beans.

The meat is usually not added in their version of this dish. We anyways got a dish with lots of different vegetables and this beige stuff. It’s also made of tofu, sort of. With tofu you get a lot of liquid, if you take the liquid, let it dry and roll it up you get these beige thingies, which taste awesome.

I asked for these little babies. They’re made of pumpkin, pumpkin flour is my wild guess. So dense and yet soft, perfect. Two for each of us :3 I had to restrain myself…

We finished all four dishes (also ordered eggplant and fish head, fyi), the pumpkin thingies and our rice! So proud nothing was wasted. Okay, some yellow beans underneath the tofu on the first picture. But lord I was so full.

During dinner we talked about online dating, chinese universities, going abroad, work, and a bunch of other things and the tall co-worker and me taught the not-tall-guy some English. I told him to get himself a foreign girlfriend. He said it was improbable. He’s almost 30, single, unmarried and childless, still rather uncommon in China, by the way.

Speaking of girlfriends and relationships, my tall co-worker has THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER. She’s a super talented fashion design student, buys clothes for him and even makes him wallets etc. which look so minimalist, cool and INFUSED WITH LOVE! THIS IS MY DREAM COUPLE. Forever rooting for them. I want to attend their wedding. The other day he showed me some of her sketches and I was blown away :’)

While driving home I learn that tall guy doesn’t have any idea who or what The Simpsons are. And then kept repeating the opening sequence’s trademark melody in an ever-changing and forever-wrong pitch. Minutes ago he had expressed faith in my singing abilities. WHY DO I HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOREVER.

They weren’t disappointed enough not to drive me home though, so everything turned out well in the end.

And I think that’s a warp, for now.

Who the hell is Farrah Abahahhshshdmamaams/Abrams and why is she all over the internet? D:

Is she worth my time? Is she worth a precious mouse-click? I feel like no.

Farrah ahdjasgd makes music and it’s better than her sex tape is an enticing headline tho, I have to admit that.

Green Tea Latte. Best airport in the whole wide worldz. Having an oldschool pastel purple LG phone. Beautiful, graceful korean women with flawless skin and clothing style. So many nice clothes everywhere I coldn’t properly process it and ended up buying only ONE shirt and ONE pair of pants. Instead buying approximately six pairs of shoes - I am currently still unsure about the exact number.

AMAZING FOOD: bulgogi, fish so crispy and flavorful and fried in its own natural oils, rice in nice little bowls which you can shake and then the rice just falls out in a perfect round shape and it’s just purrrrfect, korean bbq at midnight, pork that tastes so gooood ohmagawd I usually hate pork, ddeokbokki (which tastes a bit like pasta tbh), fish cake, awesome tasting makgeolli and the even awesomer strawberry makgeolli, drinking coffee whose beans where roasted in front of my eyes at Seventh Heaven for free, kimchi galore (how can anyone not love kimchi what is wrong with people?), egg rolls with kimchi and cheese made by the smiliest guesthouse manager ever, chewy weird pork organs (no idea which organ exactly…) in a delicious sauce, korean hot pot called shabu shabu, tempura, the tastiest barley tea at the guesthouse.

Sharing the dormitory with five guys in the beginning of my stay and it didn’t smell bad how can this be? Cheap cosmetcis, like VERY cheap. 3 hour banchok hanok village tour with a reitred Korean who likes Switzerland. Being mistaken as Korean at least 10 times everyday. Hearing Girl’s Day’s new song blasting out of shops in Myeongdong and basically everywhere. KPOP FANSHOPS JKAHDAKJSHD. High school students in droolworthy uniforms european countries except for the UK at some institutions: this is how you do school uniforms! Seoulites wearing running sneakers with basically everything. Seoul hipsters. To-die-for-cute puppies in little boxes in pet shops. Hearing Rose by Lee Hi being played three times in a row while browsing for earrings. Buying a shitton of earrings. THE CUTEST EARRINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Scary plastic surgery ads in the subway. Meeting nice people through Couchsurfing. Sitting in a reggae bar while some sortof dubstep is being played. Listening to an awesome Bossa Nova concert. Realizing that the impression you get on the internet of something or someone is always so delightfully WRONG. Talking, talking, talking. Haggling prices for the first time in my life and being so proud of myself while still feeling like I was ripped off - I probs was. Backpack heaven, there is no such thing as a person with an ugly backpack in Seoul. Hongdae <3 Talking about enlightenment, religion, buddhism, history, east-asian countries and lots of other things with a Japanese who only had a small bag worth of luggage with him, likes ports, loves taking the train, was obsessed with another japanese person who was supposed to arrive late and who ended up not arriving at all (this is a strange coincidence), had his black and silver hair tied up in the most beautiful ponytail, made me feel sort of uncomfortable for challenging my world views, had the most stunning, big, dark eyes I’ve ever seen and left very early in the morning without a trace with his blanket folded and the pillow placed on it, that was sort of magical and I think I sort of fell in love with this guy a little bit and just realized it in retrospect :’D

Bonding with the two managers at the guesthouse who are just so fantastic, sweet, lovely, lively and beautiful people and have an amazing taste in music. Meeting a super-nice dutch film maker who was just such a pleasant person to talk to, everyone must like him. Talking to a guy who actually likes watching Supernatural OMFG. Seeing a hot namja across the street everytime I crossed the street on my way to the subway station. Hunting for the Gangnam statue somwhere in Gangnam and finding out that it’s some sort of ridiculous installation that I cannot further describe because it was strange. Going to the Facehunter book launch party and waiting to tell Yvan Rodic that I am from Switzerland, too. It was a boring ‘party’. Didn’t end up telling him btw he was talking to this one girl for a reaaaaally long time. Ugh. Cute and cozy-looking cafes lining the street leading to the guesthouse I was staying at. A huge and adorable Totoro plushie in front of one of those cafes. Street performers in the Hongdae area. Never getting lost while using the subway. Seoulites are so nice! Not wanting to go back to Shenzhen at all.

Sigh. I’ll be back :)

And once again mindsets collided.

Place: dinner table

Time: 7pm

With whom: dearest uncle

He has this habit of blurting out questions either unrelated to what we’ve been talking about or in other ways misplaced. Tonight it was: Are there any male co-workers who like you?

I was puzzled. Of all the questions he could’ve asked, I didn’t expect that one. I answered with ‘no’ quickly, nevertheless. Attempts to get him to spill the beans on why he was so curious first failed, finally he admitted that it had been my boss wo’d prompted to ask him.

Turns out my boss suspects one or two of my co-workers like me. My first instinct was to laugh at that. What does this even mean? I mean, is he serious? 

Then I felt annoyed.

He calls my uncle at 11pm to meet him somewhere and discuss business matters. Then brings up this topic.

I am sorry, but this kind of behavior is regardless of cultural background and upbringing questionable and so unprofessional it makes me want to punch someone. Scratch what I wrote before, sorry I’m not sorry.

On top of that my uncle informed me that my boss thinks I’m still young, only 19 years old. Too young for this, so to say. ‘This’ presumably alluding to dating.

Hold on there.

I get that he doesn’t want his employees to have romantic relationships with each other, although I don’t agree with his point of view I understand it. I believe if it’s a lack of efficiency and bad work performance as a result of romantic involvement in the office he fears, he should trust his employees with not making this mistake and being able not to let a relationship affect any of the above negatively. After all, we are people with a life besides our love life. 

But - what does this have to do with my age? With this comment, he’s crossed a line. It’s none of his business at what age I date or decide to like someone. It’s not his place to judge whether it’s appropriate for me to date someone at ‘only 19 years old’. My boss can tell me he doesn’t approve because both work for the same company - but not because he thinks I’m too young. This argument is flawed anyways.

Uncle H wasn’t done yet, he went on telling me I was not allowed to spend my free time with any of my male co-workers unless it was in a group of at least three people. This is disgusting in so many ways, I can’t. Typing this makes me kind of sick in the stomach. I have no patience for this crap.

He plans on condemning me to continue spending my weekends with -my aunt and my cousin, alone or occasionally with my teacher. Co-workers though, nope. As we all know, people with different genitals can’t hang out without rubbing said genitals against each other in a most obscene and dirty way 15 minutes into their meeting, much less be friends. How could I have been so blind.

Paradox that about the first thing my boss had told me about his company during our initial meeting was that there were a lot of handsome boys. 

Haha. Yes, put me in an office with about 80% male co-workers and then be surprised and appalled and act like a fucking secret agent when I talk to them because I am here to study Chinese AND I FUCKING LIKE TO TALK TO PEOPLE YOU KNOW I AM SORRY IF YOU DON’T. 

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Goddamn it. This is getting out of hand. I guess I need to get over it and just remind myself that these two have problems. And they need love and empathy and understanding and cookies and hugs and videos of cute animals and some fucking perspective.

I always get flustered when I accidentally stumble over some NSFW pictures on someone’s tumblr. Now that the CCTV seems to be working and filming even more so :/

But I guess it would be quite hilarious to be asked by my boss or co-workers what the hell I am/was looking at. Maybe I should write down some answers in case I ever find myself in this situation. Like ‘I’m a nymphomaniac, is this an issue for you?’ or ‘I can send you the link, since it seems like you’re interested, too’.

During which it at some point dawned on me how hard and tiring it must sometimes be to work here in China, as compared to let’s say in Switzerland.

One major factor would be regulations concerning vacations here. Glancing at the calendar it might at first seem like China has lots of public holidays on which the people here can rest, spend some time with their family, travel, binge on ice cream and Supernatural - just what normal people do during their time off! But as I’ve mentioned before, having several days in a row off just means you’ve then got to make up for the lost time and work more than five days in a row after the public holiday has ended. Needless to say this is stressful.

Some Chinese I’ve talked to about this have told me, that they’d rather not have this slew of public holidays, precisely because it’s followed by this work marathon.

Adding to this is the fact that despite having quite a number of holidays, few of them are long enough to allow a trip to somewhere, much less going abroad (not considering the difficulties getting a visa for leaving the country poses - which are in some cases a real turn-off).

I’m thinking about working in China in the future. It would definitely help me deepen my understanding of Chinese culture as well as reach fluency at or a respectable level of spoken and written Chinese. But the amount of work you’re expected to put in compared to the amount of time you get to reload your batteries is so disproportional.